I. 就愛碎碎唸

you said, if you don't get out and work, i'd be disconneted from the world

it may sound like i don't care, but i do.

in fact, i care about it so much that it scares me sometimes.

I'd like to get a job so i have my own life some how. I'd like to make money so i don't have to live on J
more to the fact, i'd like to have Dephanie live with me, and i'd like to have my joanne being healthy.

But, I can't.

I don't know if this is going to change in time. I feel that life I live now is a total nightmare.
I just can't get out of it. even so, I still dream. maybe one day, i'd be able to get a job to teach, and
i'd be able to affort the every-day-living for my own family.

It will sound sad if i told you that i know, but i can't do anything about it. So, I can't say anything, and I won't make a word.
I hope deep in my mind that it will hurt me less, and won't let you feel bad about me.

I know your worries, but I can't do anything about it. It worries me too.